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Final Destination 2(2003) - By T-Dawg

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

The creativity and wit put into the title of the sequel is a sign post for those unlucky few whose final destination will be 2 hours in front of a movie screen realizing that this is deaths design. Another red flag that fluttering in my face before I crossed the velvet rope was that there was only one returning cast member from the original. Ali Larter reprises her role as Clear Rivers and let’s get one thing clear people this bitch can’t act. This leaves us with the rest of the C List actors that round out the cast of horror movies 101 stereotypes. There is more dignity to be had being a mascot at a Chucky Cheese than they can muster.

The most disappointing aspect of the film is the explanation or lack there of how the main surviving character (Devon Sawa) from the first film is absent. Instead we are treated too a news paper clipping detailing how he was killed by a brick falling from a roof - Looks like death is getting tired of trying to creatively kill these people. The central action sequence of the movie which links the characters together is an extremely over the top highway accident that is easily the only highlight of this truly near death experience. The references to the first film through clips being shown on television and radio broadcasts are more annoying and obnoxious than they are informative. The movie basically boils down to a series of shock value mutilations and dismemberments combined with Starbucks style conversations about deaths plan. The plot is as thin and lifeless as the blood that pumps through Keith Richards veins.

There is one moment in the film when all the characters are driving along and they all blurt out a near death experience they once had which links them to the characters from the original movie. It was so contrived and ridiculous that you wished they were in a Ford Pinto with Firestone tires going 200 MPH on highway full of drunk drivers and nitroglycerine.

I would get more involved with all the aspects I HATED about the film but there would be nothing left for you to go see - which in a way would let me alter Hollywood’s plan in scamming you out of money. If Final Destination 3 is in the works death won’t have to come to far to find me - I’ll be taking a dirt nap! This gets 1 star for the level of gore and the rest is a bore. Make your final destination your couch before going to this shit!

Henry's Comments

 "They should have made a sequel of Jackass out of this. Show all the death scenes are stunts gone wrong and said to  fuck with the rest of it!"