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Gremlins(1984)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

“Cute. Clever. Mischievous. Intelligent. Dangerous!”

Now I know what happened to me as a child. Watching this 21 years later it all makes sense... the smoking, the drinking, my intense hatred for Corey Feldman and my fear of microwaves! And the biggest shock of all.... finding out there was no Santa Clause!!! My innocence lost and it’s all because of Gremlins!!!  Surpressed memories running rampid!

Honestly, this movie is pretty shitty. But how many kid’s movies offer violent green creatures who enjoy smoking, drinking and muder? Not many I can think of anyway!  I guess it’s sort of a movie marketed towards adults as well but let me tell ya, watching it today in 2005, well it’s hard getting through the whole thing!  Once the Gremlins have their classic bar scene, there’s not much else there.  The story is weak and full of holes, we all just want to see those cute little critters get fed after midnight and then turn into torturous killers!!!

Run down of the story... cute Gremlin(Gizmo) ‘stolen’ from old chinesse man, Gizmo gets water spilled on him by that cunt Corey Fedman, many Gremlins form from Gizmo, they eat after midnight, they turn into green mean Gremlins, one gets away and decides to take a swim at the local YMCA... thousands of Gremlins now running loose and on a drunken killing spree which ends in a very predictable fashion. Remember keep those little bastards out of the light! Didn’t see that coming!

Henry's Comments

 "PG13 = NC17. How many family pets were put in the microwave after the release of Gremlins?"