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Frightmare(2001) - By T-Dawg

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

What do you get when you get when you swallow a mouthful of sleeping pills and chase it with some Aqua Velva – you have a never ending Frightmare. A horror film that dares us to chant the lyrics from Alice Cooper’s great horror theme song – “He’s back the man behind the mask…” It’s a rich tapestry of borrowed scenes from the worst films in this genre. It’s all perfectly woven together by some hack who couldn’t direct traffic. I have been stimulated on more levels watching water reach its boiling point. Come to think of it that’s a good analogy of the state of mind I was in after experiencing my first and last Frightmare. I would rather relive my first prostate examination than watch some guy in a K-Mart bath robe and dollar store mask kill today’s youth.

 The killer looked like the love child of the cartoon villan Destro from G.I. Joe and WWE wrestler Kane. As for the death sequences there are no new original sacrifices to the horror gods in this flick. Its basically Scream style killings on a discount budget. As for the teasing nudity it left me limper than some poor bastard suffering from a battle with E.D. (erectile difficulties). The director of the movie indulged in that much slow motion effects that it made the run time of the horror movie feel like it was 12 hours long. The characters in the film are your usual 1 dimensional card board cut outs that you have seen before but they inject new meaning into mentally challenged not only for their actions but the logic and motives behind the killings. Then again the word logic probably never came across anyone’s mind during the course of the films production.

 The movie’s climax if you can call it that culminates in the killer being unmasked and going on a rant about his twisted motives behind the killings so the audience can be filled in on the many plot holes in the story. But was he the real killer? The movie abruptly comes to its end you finally snap out of the Frightmare coming to realize it wasn’t all a horrible dream. You really did rent this horrific, retread of a film and live to talk about it. They say if you die in your dreams you die in real life I have my fingers after crossed that this theory is true and I keep checking my pulse on the hour. This receives ½ a Lobster for having one moment that made me jump and brief nudity plus anything looks good after seeing Severed. You have been WARNED!

Henry's Comments

 "What the fuck are you looking at!"