Click Movie to Buy(if available)

Faust(2001) - By T-Dawg

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :
 

Not since “Soul Keeper” have I been surprised by the magic of B-horror movies with a budget. Any movie that can pull off having a look a like of the guy from the glad garbage bag commercials trying to induce fear automatically earns a lobster for pure balls.

 It earned an additional lobster for having an evil femme fatal that is a nymphomaniac and has a body that could easily have her gracing page 16 of Swank magazine. Lobster number three snaps in with the interesting development of the would be hero who looks like a genetic mutation of the Tick (TV show and cartoon character) with the Toxic Avenger equipped with Wolverine’s claws and a second rate rental cape that was purchased from Spawn’s yard sale.

 As for the rest of the cast you have the young hottie psychologist doctor who specializes in curing warped mental patients by having them listen to Danzig, Sepultura, and Pantera. There is nothing like being in a padded sell in a straight jacket listening to the soothing screaming vocals and distorted guitars of those bands that allows doctors to bridge the gap between madness and reality. There are some other side characters that are as developed as an eight month fetus in crack whore’s womb. If this doesn’t have you running to the horror section of your video store nothing will.

 The final lobster is earned through the use of some solid gore, nudity, and a special FX sequence that has a women morphing into a huge jiggling mess of T&A (it will have you doing a double take).This would have earned the coveted horror movie industry standard - 5 Lobster rating but the final 20 minutes seems like a they ran out of scenes to spoof or steal and it also has some questionable morality plot points concerning a dark secret from the psychologist’s past. It’s the kind of stuff that has you reaching for the spray 9 and an SOS pad to scrub away the filth. But with over the top acting and odd ball special FX makes Faust an enjoyable guilty pleasure. What is it to experience the Love of the damned rent Faust and you will know first hand. All in all this block of Velveeta Cheese is deserving of 4 lobsters.

Henry's Comments

 "Meow meow meow meow!"