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The Collapsed(2012)

Rating out of 5 possible lobsters :

 

Its the end of the world as we know it... and I feel fine.

Well holy crap!  Its the end of the world!  Family of four trying to survive in some city after some sort of unnamed event has caused society to crumble. Were suppose to believe the world is ending just because the family is plotting some sort of escape to a rural area in a darkend setting with some mild background noises that sound no worse than my neighbourhood on a Monday Afternoon when school is out. All of a sudden its morning, the sun is shining, everything looks beautiful and the family is stealing a car and driving out on clear roads to their safe haven paradise.  Ok so if youre doing an end of the world movie, you have to at least turn the brightness down on the finished product and maybe have a few broken down cars along the way.  What is this? Omish Appocolypse where no one has any vechicles to leave on the road?

Continuing on... they come across a gas station that has all its supplies in tact... lots of food, razors, lighters...etc.  Assuming everyone is Omish, no one thought to loot the gas stations(why would they exist if everyone was Omish though?!)... all of a sudden another vechicle pulls up(they must be from out of state) and causes the family to quickly escape out the back, leaving their car behind and making off in the woods with what they have stolen at the gas station. From there the acting gets worse as we have to listen to these characters bable in the woods for the next almost hour before anything else happens.

After escaping from the gas station with their lives... the daughter pulls out some razors and asks for some privacy while she goes and shaves her legs...  her dads reponse... Son, give your sister the gun. Awesome!

Honestly, if I wasnt under the weather when I watched this movie I never would have made it through.  I was too sick to reach over for the remote so just let the thing play.  The first hour is painful!  Nothing happens!  We see a family in the dark, then its gorgeous out, they take a car and drive on a beautiful clear day to a gas station, run into a couple of apparent trouble makers and take off in the woods and then we have to watch some really bad acting and dialogue as they try and get the movie to the hour long mark.  After that, it does pick up a bit for a cool bloody ending with a twist that only works because the movie was so damn dull up until that point.

 


Henry's Comments

 "Not sure why the guy on the box is wearing a gas mask?!  Oh wait, its the end of the world and we have no budget... someone fucking put on a gas mask."