Horror Movies That Suck Movie Reviews

The Critic

The title Horror Movies That Suck was thought up one hot Nova Scotian evening in August of 1996. Right away I jumped on the catchy title and started spitting out negative mini reviews to any horror movie I could ever remember seeing.  At the time there were not many horror movie reviews sites on the web and well I didn’t take the site very serious at all.  Over the past year I have started writing longer reviews and taking the web site a bit more seriously.  From now on this site will contain horror movies reviews from all types of horror movies. Not only the shitty ones.  I’ve flirted with the idea of changing the title of the site to fit better with the site’s new attitude but nah!  I love the title. Horror is the one genre that people love to watch even if the movie is awful!  The title defines the genre in my eyes. A horror movie doesn’t have to be good to entertain!  And well let’s face it... most horror movies do suck! And that’s why I love ‘em!

- HMTS CEO

Guest Critic and Rating System

We are pleased to annouce that Henry the Serial Killer will now be joining us  when we watch and review movies. Via satellite Henry will be joining us to watch flicks from  his hide out in the Highlands of Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, Canada where he lives off the land and masturbates using dead lobster claws. According to Henry you can't  get a tighter fit and would like to remind everyone  not to use live lobsters because it really hurts. Thanks Henry!

The only thing Henry wanted in return for helping us out was that  we make the site more lobster related. So...from now on we will be using a 5 lobster  scale to rate new movie entries on the site. Also Henry's mini reviews will be  included at the bottom of every new movie review.

Henry...How about them Bears???

 
Fuck the bears!!!

The Rating System

Worth tossing five lobsters down your pants to see!

A must see!  A great horror flick or a movie that is so cheesy you can’t help but love it!!

 May have a flaw or two(or a million in the case of a cheesy movie) but still more than worthy of checking out!

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You may dig it, you may not! Could go either way! At least watchable!

Avoid this shit at whatever cost!  Practically unwatchable or worse! Have a gun ready at the ending credits!